tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643701283827081712024-03-08T00:48:51.084-05:00Silent CriesHear my cry O God, listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you. Psalm 61:1Veronica Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00941686793958052704noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64370128382708171.post-60372779835249562322013-02-14T18:57:00.002-05:002013-02-14T21:01:56.683-05:00Cherokee Rule of Acceptance<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I thought I would do something different and post a "vlog" instead of writing a blog today. My online Bible Study group is studying the book, Let It Go. Did you guys know that I'm Cherokee? Yep! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">There is a song called, The Cherokee Morning Song I wanted to sing for you and one of the rules of life that the Cherokee have taught for many, many generations that was so fitting for chapter three of our study.</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"> It's called, The Rule of Acceptence. I hope this ministers to your heart. (You will need to expand the video to see the annotations) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span>Veronica Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00941686793958052704noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64370128382708171.post-43277860863604675922012-10-19T10:16:00.003-04:002012-10-19T10:59:40.771-04:00Rotten, Nasty Fruit! Would you like some?<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Have you ever regretted exploding in anger?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Did you feel terrible afterwards?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Boy, I sure have here lately and I get upset at myself for doing
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">I think about the Fruits of The Spirit and then think to myself, “Wow, I’m
failing here in some of these. I don’t want rotten fruit. Nobody enjoys it, I
don’t enjoy it, and I KNOW God doesn’t like it. That’s what I’m forcing others
to partake of , rotten fruit!” Who wants that?! Every harsh word is like
throwing it at them and saying, “Here, take that!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t care if you want it or not, you’re
getting it!” Where’s the gentleness?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
self-control? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That kind of attitude doesn’t
have much patience or kindness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it
doesn’t matter if the reason I’m coming unglued is because I’m tired, in pain, stressed, frustrated,
or have lack of sleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rotten fruit is
just rotten fruit and nobody desires it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It doesn’t look good, it smells bad, and let’s face it….it looks really nasty.
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Look at Galatians 5:22-23<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>New Living Translation (NLT)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">22
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control.
There is no law against these things!<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">The leader of the Online Bible Study, Melissa Taylor, asked us to blog about
how we are applying the message of the Unglued book by Lisa TerKeurst to our
personal lives. Ok, well here it is. I call it my Jesus Glue! It's what holds me together.</span><br />
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</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">My Personal Jesus Glue<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span>I spend more time in the Word of God to position my
heart to flow in God’s power and love, His divine nature</span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span>In moments of frustration, I pause instead of reacting
in anger</span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span>Communicate my expectations with gentleness</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span>Feelings indicate where my heart is for the moment, not
dictating how I behave</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span>Have a default “button,” have a plan how to respond
appropriately<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span>Remember “I am a child of God, holy, dearly loved, set
apart for a mighty plan</span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span>When I don’t know what to do, speak the name, “Jesus.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He calms my heart because I invite Him to be
with me and allow His power to work in the situation and being obedient to His
will</span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span>Give thanks to the Lord, His love endures FOREVER</span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span>Act in kindness, it ministers peace to others</span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Awe, now that tastes MUCH better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What a wonderful, sweet taste.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Can you taste it too? The fruits of the Spirit should have a nice aroma,
a desired taste, and look beautiful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
is the main ingredient of Jesus Glue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Without it, we fall apart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our
testimonies, are damaged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Relationships,
broken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
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</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Plsam 34:8<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Taste</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and
see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.</i></span><br />
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</span>Veronica Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00941686793958052704noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64370128382708171.post-17166985193949595232012-10-03T15:17:00.000-04:002012-10-04T09:41:01.580-04:00Them's Figh-en Words! Are you beating yourself up?<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Negative self talk is so destructive!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A dear friend of mine described it like this,
“Words” are still a very powerful and sometimes destructive force. Negative
words are like unguided missiles…aiming to destroy, and if not stopped they
will complete the mission! They are the tools of the devil…seeking to steal,
kill, and destroy.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do you really know how powerful your words are?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you say something to yourself, your
brain receives it as truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If somebody
called you dumb, fat, ugly, stupid, would you get upset?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would be hurtful and could be depressing
because it attacks your self worth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some
of us would get really angry and might just have to do something about it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the south, you might hear, “Them’s figh-en
words!” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So why do we get ourselves upset and angry by saying the
same things?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I’m such an idiot.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I can’t
believe I did that, I’m having a stupid moment.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Man, I hate the way I look.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God gave my sister the pretty genes.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I just wish I was never born!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hate my life.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We experience the same emotions regardless if
somebody else says it to us or we say these things to ourselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Make an effort to stop beating yourself up
and start visualizing what you want to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Let me tell you, you’ll have more motivation to do something about the
changes you want, that’s for sure.</span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I shared in my last post that I am a small group leader for
an Online Bible Study group.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The book for these 6 weeks is titled, Unglued
by Lysa Terkeurst.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love the visual she
gives of us being like a slab of marble.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>God chisels away what we don’t need and artistically brings forth the
beauty He sees. A beautiful sculpture made in His image. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With our negative self talk and negative belief
of who we are, we stay trapped in that slab with all our raw emotions and never
breaking free from it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Will you choose
today to let God do His work in you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Will you let Him break away the labels you’ve placed on yourself and be
set free?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">John 8:36 “So if the Son has set you free, you are free
indeed.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Remember this always, that the moment Jesus died on the
cross, He established your worth FOREVER.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He believed YOU were worth dying for!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">John 15:13<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Greater love has no one than this, that he
lay down his life for his friends.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I know that we discussed this topic in April in greater
detail but I just felt I needed to share the spin that Lysa had.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It gave me such a great visual and blessed my
heart so much, I felt you would be equally as blessed. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will begin the topic of boundaries later in
November when I finish the unglued study.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For now, I will be sharing from this book through the end of October. I
hope you don’t mind the delay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Love you
all and look forward to seeing you back soon. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span>Veronica Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00941686793958052704noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64370128382708171.post-41017704872277647102012-08-23T13:11:00.001-04:002012-08-23T14:02:22.378-04:00Where's This Coming From?<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
So where does all these low self worth feelings come from? I know that most of us have some clue but do we really know the depth of it? Why is it still affecting us today?<o:p> </o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p> Low self worth is a belief we have about ourselves and it is seeded in our hearts and minds</o:p> as we are grow up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> It becomes the root of how we feel about ourselves today. First, w</span>e get positive or negative messages from our parents or authority
figures that are most important to us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Did you know that parenting styles can have a huge impact on how you
perceive yourself? And when I mention parent, I am speaking of anybody that spent anytime raising you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> We know that our upbringing affects us but sometimes don't realize the impact it has on how we feel about ourselves and how we matter. </span>For instance, if you had a parent that was
overly protective, it would make you feel like you were inadequate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Parents who are overly critical will make you
feel unacceptable and that you can’t do anything right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ok, who had parents that were really passive,
overly permissive? These are the parents that want to be your friend more than
set boundaries, rules, and consequences for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do what you want as long as it makes you
happy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did you know that this kind of
parenting will send messages that you are not valued?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And how about the over controlling
parent?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your young inner voice will interpret
that you are incompetent which can make you feel that you are weak and
insignificant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are so many more
details to parenting styles and how they affect children as they are growing
that I can’t write it all here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
encourage you to do Google the type of parenting you received and read up on
how it truly affected your thinking and beliefs about yourself.</span><br />
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Did you grow up with parents that had addictions of
substance abuse, workaholics, an over spender, or compulsive behaviors? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of these situations would have made you
feel that these things were more important than you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you were born, you had the need to feel
loved, that you mattered, and to feel secure and protected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When any or all of these aren’t met, you would
develop negative self perceptions of yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The messages that your little heart would embrace would be that you had
no value, you didn’t matter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Abuse and neglect are so damaging to a child and can take years
to overcome the emotional affects of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But God is so faithful and has an unconditional love that surpasses our
understanding and it gives such healing and acceptance like no man on this
earth can ever give. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">"O Sovereign LORD!.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have made the heavens and earth by Your
great power.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing is too hard for
You!" (Jeremiah 32:17)<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you were indeed neglegted, emotionally,
physically, or sexually abused by a parent or authority figure, you may adopt
the beliefs that you are a nobody and/or deserving of the demeaning words you
hear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> You might feel like being mistreated is or verbally abused is just a part of your life and you have to take it. </span>Maybe you even felt like it was
your fault that these things were happening to you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <em> </em></span><em>“If I had only done this instead or said
this.”</em><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or maybe you asked, <em>“What am I <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>doing that makes them treat me this
way?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What can I do differently the next
time?”</em><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe you’ve thought, <em>“Well, I
deserved it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I should have</em> (fill in the
blank), <em>then this wouldn’t have happened.”</em><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Do not ever take ownership of what somebody chose to do to you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I dealt with this for many years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“If I hadn’t have skipped school and hung out
with so and so to play around with drugs, I would have never been raped.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The impact of that belief made a difficult
life for me plagued with bad choices just to feel loved and not like damaged
goods.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t think things through but
instead, had to have that instant gratification of acceptance and love.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p> </o:p> My daughter is 25 years old, the mother of two, and was
molested by her biological father at a young age.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She became very fearful of him at age 3 which led to the discovery of the abuse. Being
molested gives a sense of shame and a sense of no value. She doesn’t have
custody of either child because of her destructive behaviors and dangerous
choices that stems from the molestation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Her stepfather and I have been raising our granddaughter who is now 14
months old and have had full custody for over a year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me tell you, it has been a very painful
road for my daughter as well as for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She has been in and out of counseling for years but this last counselor
was just amazing and very informative.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Do you know how sad it was to come to the realization that our daughter
was not even capable of making safe decisions for herself or her children? When
the counselor told us that, my heart was heavy but it helped make sense of all
that was happening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With work and help
from the Lord, she could overcome this but she just runs from it when she makes
any kind of progress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She acknowledges
that she never adopted her own set of values and standards and because of that,
she can’t say no when she needs to say no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She will adopt other people’s standards high or low for just a season,
live by them while she is with that group at all cost to be accepted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I do mean at ALL cost.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you or somebody you know lives
destructively because of sexual abuse, I recommend a wonderful book that will
help with understanding and healing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><strong>“The
Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Author Dan B. Allender</strong>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The book is under $10 at Amazon.com and is
available as digital download. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> I encourage you today to understand just
how <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>loved you are by our Heavenly
Father. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He accepts you just as you are
and where you are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He tells us in <span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Zephaniah 3:17</span><span style="color: black; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> "<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty
one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by
his love; he will rejoice over you with loud singing."<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Our self worth starts at home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is not my purpose to blame parenting but
to enlighten us to observe the type of parenting we had to better understand
possible roots of low self worth. Were we abused in anyway, were we neglected
because a substance, work, or an object or place seemed to be more important than
us?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our sense of worth spills over into
our adolescence and adult hood and negative self perception grows. Our negative
self talk grows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can compare
ourselves to others because we don’t feel like we measure up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your self worth is not based on how others
see you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is not based on how many
people like you or is your friend on social networking. Nor is it how much you
can do for others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is based on the
belief you have about yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> If you have negative beliefs, you can change them. If
your parents/ authority figures were hard to please then say, <em>“My value is not
based on making others happy or how much I can please them.”</em><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For the overly protective parent/ authority
figure, say, <em>“My worth is not based on how well I protect myself.”</em><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If your parents/ authority figure were over controlling,
they didn’t allow you to make many decisions. Say this, <em>“My worth is not based
making my own decisions.”</em><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><em> </em> </span>Overly passive
or permissive parenting do not set boundaries so say to yourself, <em>“My worth is
not based on if I can make boundaries for myself or not.”</em><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><em> </em> </span>For any of these issues, you can change
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a behavior based on a belief
you have, not your true value. Be encouraged that your past does not define who you are today or ever. If you change the belief, you can change your emotion attached to it, and then change any negative behaviors you want to change. If you are living and breathing today, you can start making a change today. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a class="bibleref" href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+61%3A7&version=ESV"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><em>Isaiah 61:7</em></span></a><span class="note"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><em> </em></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><em>"Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion; instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot; therefore in their land they shall possess a double portion; they shall have everlasting joy."</em></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
N<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">ext blog topic:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
Setting Healthy Boundaries; Teach people how to treat you in a healthy way.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span>Veronica Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00941686793958052704noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64370128382708171.post-91876779838356062212012-08-01T23:50:00.002-04:002012-08-05T15:15:55.145-04:00So What's The Difference?<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can you think of
times that you have felt rejected?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
can be very painful and difficult to heal from because it attacks your self
worth and esteem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t get the two
words confused here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Low self worth and
low self esteem are two different definitions and it’s important to understand
the difference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Low self worth has to do
with believing we have little to no value.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We have a tendency to compare ourselves to others or to feel that we
aren’t worthy or deserving of certain things or relationships in life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Low self esteem is how we regard ourselves or
place our value and is momentary, short lived.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s the amount of value you grant yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you have good self esteem, you may hear
something that will bring you down for a moment but it doesn’t affect your core
belief of yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For instance,
somebody gets a promotion that you were seeking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a blow to your confidence and esteem
for that moment but it doesn’t shake how you feel about yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You still believe in your strengths and who
you are as a person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The kick to your
esteem just pushes you to improve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
person with low self esteem will allow it to affect how they perceive
themselves and make comparisons in an unhealthy way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The kick to their esteem adds to their
feelings of little to no value, uselessness, and their imperfections which can
lead to depression, low self worth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
feel insignificant, the need for approval, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here’s a self
inventory for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Answer these
questions as honestly as you can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Remember, I’m not there to judge you and nobody else can hear your
thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is your private time to
really dig deep and answer to the truth about yourself and not how you think
you should answer.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do you find yourself to be timid, shy, or even
fearfully so?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do you give into other people too easily?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Are you sensitive and get your feelings hurt
easily?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do you have overly aggressive attitudes?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do you have fits or rages?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Have others described you as having attitude
problems?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Are you a perfectionist?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Are you self critical?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do you have a fear of failure and avoid risks?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Don’t set healthy boundaries</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Neglect yourself</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do you always feel like you’re the victim in
situations</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do other people’s opinions matter more than
yours </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do you always try to fit in</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do you overly criticize people or yourself</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Demanding</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Find it hard to forgive</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Rebellious to authority</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Defensive</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do compliments make you uncomfortable</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do you blame others for things you have done
wrong</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Is it hard to get close to people and bond with
them</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Are you afraid to defend yourself</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do you compare yourself to others</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I pray that you have learned more about the differences
between low self worth and low self esteem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Self worth is how we feel valued and esteem is how we place value.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The next time you find yourself in a
situation when either is challenged, take a mental note of how it affected
you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did you bounce back and strive to
make improvements or did it hold you back and cause you to question if you
mattered or if<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>you were good
enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God wants us to walk in peace
and to have a good self image of ourselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>After all, we were created in His image and He is just amazing!</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Here's a beautiful scripture you can use as a prayer while you’re searching your heart for the
changes that you desire in your life.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Show me your ways, Oh
Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for You are </span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">God my savior and my
hope is in You all day long.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Psalm 25:4-5</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Next week: Where does low self worth come from?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span>Veronica Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00941686793958052704noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64370128382708171.post-65394323203518091842012-06-15T09:51:00.000-04:002012-06-18T23:30:26.866-04:00Thank God for My Poopy Day!<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> Replacing our negative thoughts can sometimes be challenging to our low self worth issues.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No matter how hard we try to reason differently, sometimes we seem to react or respond with the same negative behaviors because of hurt or pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> I will never forget the feeling of abandonment when I was about 4 or 5 years old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mother and father got into an argument and my mother left the house and walked in the back yard near a red clay field getting further from us and the house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My dad sat my two older sisters and I on the back porch and told us , “Stay right here.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were all crying and upset because we were convinced she was leaving us!</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I got older, I didn’t realize how much this situation played a part in my low self worth issues.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why is it that I could reason as an adult that everything was ok, she didn’t leave, and that she was just letting off steam but yet it still contributed to my self worth issues?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had realized how those feelings affected my marriage and other relationships in a negative way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If my husband and I would have an argument, my first fear was that he was going to leave me and the marriage was going to be over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why did my mind interpret such an extreme result from a disagreement?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were never malicious with one another and in fact, we always argued fairly with the goal to have more understanding for the other person’s perception and to resolve the issue as quickly as possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So why in the world would I always equate arguments with abandonment?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I asked my counselor,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Why am I doing this?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can reason in my mind the truth of the matter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mom was just venting and cooling down.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">She responded, “Did she come back?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Yes.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Did your dad or your mom hug you and tell you that everything was going to be ok?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“No, dad just told us to come inside that everything is ok and to go to bed.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“They didn’t hold you and say that?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Nope.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> She explained to me that our hearts hold on to the first belief and files it away as the truth. The heart and mind are separate. The heart deals with the emotions and our mind reasons and thinks. We can reason all day long but until we replace the file in the heart, it will not be resolved. It takes a hug to sync the brain and the heart so that the old file can be replaced with the truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How many times as kids or adults did you misunderstand something and it hurt your feelings but when you received a hug and word of comfort, it changed everything?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How about when a child is scared of the Boogie Man that’s hiding in the closet?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What is the first instinct as the parent?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Open the door and show them that there is no Boogie Man and hold the child and tell them, “See?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything is going to be ok.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No Boogies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m right here and nothing bad is going to happen to you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ok?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In that moment, we erase the belief and replace it with the truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What would happen if you just said, “There is no Boogie Man, go to sleep!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would that help the situation or upset the child more?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would definitely escalate in to a rough night for the both of you because you have not taken away that child’s fear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Until you prove to them that there really is no Boogie Man hiding in the closet, they are still going to be affected by their belief. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> Mom didn’t leave, she loved us, and she was not ever leaving us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But my heart held on to that belief, I’m not lovable enough or worth loving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I never received help to change my belief. In fact, our dad told us it was ok and to go on to bed. This was equivalent to believing that the Boogie Man was still in my closet! </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> I was encouraged by my counselor to speak to my mom about it or to picture the event in my mind with it ending with a comforting hug from mom and hearing her say, “Everything is ok.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mommy is not going anywhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s ok.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That seemed to help a little.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I was still having issues of abandonment.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> God had a plan in motion. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A week or so later, I made a trip to S.C. to visit my parents with my two little dogs and our infant grand-daughter whom we had just been awarded full custody.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was only a couple of months old and I was losing lots of sleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My parents had a brand new laminate wood floor installed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of the dog’s tummy was messed up and would make it to the puppy pad but miss. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The baby was having a poopy kind of day too!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh goodness, my day was full of stress over poop!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At my breaking point, the baby had it coming out of her diaper and getting on to everything then the instant I cleaned her up, the dog made another mess! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mom looked at me and KNEW I was going to cry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She compassionately came over to me and held me and said, “It’s going to be ok.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s alright.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t worry about this, ok?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s going to be ok. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had no idea that I had been dealing with the abandonment issues, yet her warm hug and comforting words were timely. God used that poopy day to replace the abandonment file I had stored in my heart for so many years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In that very moment, my heart and mind connected through the hug because I was remembering the little girl on the porch that needed the reassurance that everything was ok. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I thank God for my stressful, poopy day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> You never know what He will use to get your attention or help you heal. So look for opportunities to make a change.</span></span></div>
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<em><span style="color: blue;"><strong><span style="color: black; font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"> </span></strong></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="color: blue;">"Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with loving kindness I have drawn you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <span style="color: black; font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"><strong><span style="color: blue;">Jerimiah 31:3</span> </strong></span></span>NKJV </span></span></em>Veronica Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00941686793958052704noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64370128382708171.post-4307750029775519102012-05-14T09:25:00.005-04:002012-05-15T10:40:08.559-04:00The Rejection Cycle<em><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;"></span></em><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> This week, we are going to learn how rejection issues create more rejection. First, I'd like to share an embarrassing story. It was a pivotal moment in my life</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> when I realized that I needed a serious change. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> Fourteen years ago, my husband, Michael and I were still dating. Since I was new to the area, he and our good friends wanted me to go to a family style restaurant that they really enjoyed. We ordered two meats, a few sides, and some wonderful buttermilk biscuits. The waiter brought out big bowls and platters for us to pass around like we do at our family table. Michael and the friends took a bite of the mashed potatoes, their eyes rolled back in the heads as they enjoyed the flavor, and went on and on about how awesome the potatoes were. Michael, with his mouth watering and clearly in love with the potatoes said, "Oh my goodness, these are the BEST potatoes ever!" I thought to myself, "How can he say that? He hasn't tried mine." I actually felt angry because of what he said but I tried to hide my feelings so I just looked down at my plate. Then my friends chimed in, </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> "I know! These people make the best mashed potatoes than anybody! Nobody can touch them!" I felt my heart beat faster and no matter how hard I tried to not say what I was thinking, my mouth opened, I snarled my nose, and out burst my jealous words, "They're not all THAT great! Mine are way better." I was so jealous of those stupid white potatoes. And I have never forgotten the looks I received either. They looked at me with shock and disbelief. Oh my goodness, I felt so embarrassed that I could lose control like that but I couldn't shake the feeling of jealousy and anger. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> Why would I react that way? Why would I say such a thing to my friends? How could I be jealous over a bowl of potatoes? Did it just happen out of the blue? No. That reaction had been building up for some time because of the repeated rejection I had felt through the years. In my first post, <a href="http://silentcries-veronica.blogspot.com/2012/03/did-that-really-happen.html" target="_blank">Did That Really Happen</a>, I shared with you that as a little girl, age 8, I believed that I was not wanted, loved, and in the way. I felt like I was just a problem that my parents HAD to deal with. I felt a strong sense of rejection. The reason I reacted so badly in the restaurant is because my self worth and acceptance was based on how well I could do things which is known as performance based acceptance. I instantly felt like I was being compared which was not the case. It was just my mind interpreting things incorrectly because of my low self worth.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> Negative behaviors can create more rejection. How do we define rejection?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> What is it to reject someone? </span>According to dictionary.com it is;</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"> §<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To refuse to accept, acknowledge, use, believe, etc</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To throw out as useless or worthless; discard</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Something rejected as imperfect, unsatisfactory, or useless</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> Oh goodness! They just described how I felt for years! I know that you think of times that you have felt rejected. We have all felt rejection. Jesus felt rejected through his ministry and on the cross.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It can be very painful and difficult for us to heal from because it attacks our self worth and esteem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Rejection becomes</span> a nasty little cycle that repeats itself over and over and we are left with feeling more hurt and more pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember that low self worth comes from repeated rejection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s look at this cycle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> (This is</span> from June Hunt’s, How To Handle Your Emotions) :</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Rejection</span></strong></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">Triggers feelings of worthlessness</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Worthlessness</span></strong></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">Brings feelings of self hate</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Self Hate</span></strong></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">Despise yourself, produces negative behaviors</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Negative Behaviors</span></strong></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">Reproduces rejection </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> In that restaurant, I was feeling worthless and felt that I was being compared to another person. It was only my imagination. In my first post, I shared with you how our minds automatically interpret what we hear, see, smell, etc., then we put meaning to it, then an emotion follows. That's exactly what I did because of my low self worth. Do you see how the cycle fits here? My mind interpreted that my friends were comparing me to somebody else and that I didn't measured up, then I felt that I wasn't good enough, worthless. Then the jealousy and ugly behavior manifested.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> Think of other behaviors that bring about more rejection. Some people are known as the show off, the liar, the Mr. know it all, the overly sensitive person that gets offended easily or cries easily, the hothead, the overly competitive person, the person who doesn't respect boundaries, got to have it my way person, the person afraid to trust, the party animal, the blame game person, the bragger, the loner, the recluse, the workaholic, etc. There are so many negative behaviors, I can't list them all here. For now, think hard about how you react to situations and if there are any negative behaviors that you need to work on. Then ask yourself where it is coming from. What is it in your past that is holding on to your heart? What are your hot buttons, your sensitive areas, or your triggers? There has to be a change if you want the bad feelings and behaviors to stop. They add stress and pressure or even hurt feelings to those who spend time with you. People will begin to avoid the stress, pressure, and hurt feelings thus causing you more hurt and pain because they are also avoiding you or reacting to you. You will feel rejected and it cycles until you make it stop. Let me tell you, the behavior will manifest itself when you least expect it. No matter how hard you try to control it, it will present itself and there will be no taking it back. Once it's out there, it's just there and you aren't the only one who is affected. It's time to make changes and break the cycle. Are you ready?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> My next post will give tools to help make the changes you desire. If you feel that someone you know could benefit from these posts, please share this blog with them. Until next week, I leave you with these scripture refrences for encouragement.</span><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before hand, that we should walk in them." </span></span></em><em><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> ~Ephesians 2:10~ </span></span></em><br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">"Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come." ~2nd Corinthians 5:17~</span></span></em><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>Veronica Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00941686793958052704noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64370128382708171.post-6031018960166047292012-05-04T14:19:00.000-04:002012-05-04T19:46:25.304-04:00God's Image or Yours?<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
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<span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We are continuing our look at low self worth this week. If you are a new reader, you will benefit a lot from this post but I encourage you to read the last post titled, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><a href="http://silentcries-veronica.blogspot.com/2012/04/whats-behind-your-mask.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What's Behind Your Mask</span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> to identify even more negative behaviors and hidden issues. Just click on the blue title to go directly to the page. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did you answer the questions to see if you have any hidden low self worth in my last blog?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s surprising, isn’t it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh but wait, we have more questions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know, I know, and you thought we were done. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Below are some questions from the author, June Hunt, that I believe will be helpful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of the questions have been revised.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t answer according to how you know you should be or wished you could be but instead, answer truthfully and honestly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nobody’s listening to your thoughts or your heart but you and God. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">Ø</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I am unable to set appropriated boundaries</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">Ø</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I am ashamed of my background which causes me to struggle with depression</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">Ø</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I am controlled by a victim mentality</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">Ø</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I am inferior and feel incompetent when compared to others</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">Ø</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I am overly critical and distrustful of others</span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">Ø</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I am defensive when confronted</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">Ø</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I am argumentative and resistant to authority</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">Ø</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I am undeserving of /or unable to accept compliments</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">Ø</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I am afraid to get close to people and establish intimacy</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">Ø</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I am a peace-at-all-costs people pleaser</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">Ø</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I am reluctant to express my true feelings</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">Ø</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 7pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I am hesitant to accept responsibility for my wrongs</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Did you answer yes to any of these?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If so, then you have rejection and low self worth issues.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even if you hear yourself saying, “I’m just a little like that,” the problem is still there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How would you react to a fly, roach, or hair in your food?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are small problems but I’m sure you would do what it takes to correct the situation, wouldn’t you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So then, I encourage you to approach this the same way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even if you feel that you do one or some of these on a small scale, it needs to be handled so a positive change can occur. Be very honest with yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For most of my life, I sought after the approval of others and discovered that I was a really big people pleaser.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t know that it was from low self worth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a fly in my food and didn’t see him there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought that I was just a giving, compassionate person, and that I loved to help others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The reality of it all was that I needed that pat on the back and to hear, “Good job” so that I would feel needed, wanted, validated, and that I mattered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another problem I had is I was overly sensitive and would get my feelings hurt easily and would get angry at the person who hurt me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hated feeling that way, especially being so sensitive, argumentative, and defensive. Why couldn’t I just feel settled in my own skin?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not only did it steal peace from my heart, I was seeing the negative affects it had in my relationships with others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God didn’t create me to be this way and something had to change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s so hard to listen to people excuse their behaviors by saying, “Well, I can’t help it, that’s just the way I am.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What about this one, “I’m a red head, I can’t help it,” or “I’m Italian, that’s just the way we are.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or to hear, “Don’t get mad at me, God made me this way!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No He didn’t. Don’t buy into this lie and accept it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you do, you can’t change it because you are training your mind to accept it and therefore, will not feel the need for change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Think about this, He created us in His image.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So does your image line up with God’s image?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #001320; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Genesis<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>5:1 ~ <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">This is the written account of Adam's line. When God created man, he made him in the likeness of God. </i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What is the likeness, image of God?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God is a just and loving God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Bible tells us that God is Love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First Corinthians Chapter 13 is known as the love chapter and I like to use it as self inventory to see if I am living my life as a loving person which helps me to single out any negative behaviors that need attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What is love?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>According to verses 4-8, Love is patient, kind, doesn’t’ boast and is not proud, <span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">doesn’t dishonor others, is not selfish, not easily angered, </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">it keeps no record of wrongs. <sup> </sup>Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. <sup> </sup>It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.</span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I always share a tool with you so that you can begin to make the changes you desire. </span>This week’s tool is geared toward helping you investigate your thinking and to compare your behaviors to the Word of God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Make a note where you fall short and prepare your heart to be open for change by acknowledging that there is a problem, a fly in your food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe you have a lot of flies or some flies are bigger than others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t accept any negative behaviors as being normal and the way you were made but understand that life’s challenges, circumstances, and your environment have sculpted you into the image you are today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Any negative input</span> has stolen any parts of God’s image from you and taken your peace of mind and your heart with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Strive to learn about who He is, His attributes and take back what was stolen. Reclaim what God created in you before your first breath was taken after you entered this world!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Accept nothing less than how He truly created you and then, only then, will you begin to experience more peace and settle in your heart your acceptance and worth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Whose image do you desire most, God's image or yours? </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Next week, we will look at rejection and how it can become a cycle of more rejection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Low self worth and rejection work together against us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the next few blogs, we will continue to learn<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>how to recognize<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>signs that we have<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>self worth issues and feelings of rejection to deal with and gain control over them through acknowledgement then healing can occur.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I leave you this week with this scripture about peace in our hearts:</span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Colossians 3:15<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">~ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts since as members of one body you were called to peace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And be thankful.</i></span></span></div>
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Veronica Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00941686793958052704noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64370128382708171.post-36540477524694964552012-04-20T17:59:00.000-04:002012-05-04T14:31:18.034-04:00What's Behind Your Mask?<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> In my last blog, I wrote about negative self talk which comes from feelings of low self worth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Low self-worth can make you feel less important than others, make you seek other things to ease the pain of not feeling valued, and could make you become an approval addict which puts a strain on any type of relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Low self worth comes from repeated rejection which creates more low self worth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have you ever or do you have feelings of abandonment, uselessness, worthlessness, being unloved, unwanted, or not being accepted? <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">We hide what we are really feeling to keep out emotional pain and sometimes we don’t realize that we’re doing it. </span>Do you have low self worth?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, maybe, no?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s explore and see if you’re right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You might discover that there are some of those feelings hidden in a corner of your heart that is eager to be discovered and set free. </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span>Have you ever worn a mask?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe you have for a party, event, holiday, or the stage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Think about the purpose of the mask.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is used, by definition<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">,</span><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> to conceal one’s identity or is used for protection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Think about the goalie in an energetic Hockey game, or the fire fighter protecting his face and lungs from a raging fire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Think about the dental chair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you’re sitting there, be thankful that the staff wears the face masks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It keeps airborne yucky things away from you like all of the bacteria that spray up in the air when they are scaling your teeth or rinsing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If they are not careful with some patients, they could contract Hepatitis B or HIV just to name a couple of harmful diseases.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the classic Phantom of the Opera, he wore a mask to conceal his face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we have low self worth, our negative behaviors become our masks; our protective covering that conceals emotional pain.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What are the negative behaviors associated with low self worth?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You just read about the emotions but what about the behaviors?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The purpose of this blog page is to promote change but we can’t change what we don’t acknowledge and we can’t acknowledge something that we can’t see.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So let’s answer a few questions very honestly and see if we can discover any hidden issues of low self worth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Do you hear yourself using negative self talk?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Are you described as being a workaholic?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Impressed with status symbols and often live beyond income?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Overly competitive, can’t stand to lose?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seeking approval and envious of important people?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Constantly seeking recognition?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have things perfect or yourself perfect, described as a perfectionist?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Addicted to substances, sex, food, drugs, or (fill in the blank)?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Use intimidation to get what you need or want, anger problems? </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Impress others with financial extravagance?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Get upset if you don’t get your way?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Obsessed with having certain possessions? </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Get offended easily, overly sensitive?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Do you say yes when you should say no?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Are you easily manipulated or follow people of bad influence?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Do you find yourself trying to impress others?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When someone isn’t friendly to you, does it hurt your feelings or disturb you</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Do you pay close attention to how others respond to you to avoid the pain of rejection?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Are you a loner?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">Ø<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Do you avoid situations with new people because you believe they will not accept you or judge your character which will lead to rejection?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did you see any behaviors that describe you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember to be very honest with yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nobody can hear your thoughts as you read the list.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s between you and God who wants to heal you in this area so you can walk in the peace and freedom He desires for you. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember a situation years ago when my family was on their way to a very big family reunion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was the first time in many years that we had all seen each other which included great uncles, great aunts, second and third cousins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was an important time in the history of our family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My older sister, about 17 years old, received a phone call from work just as we were literally walking out of the door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was very upset when she decided to go to work, which was an option, instead of putting family first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why did she do that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her acceptance was based on performance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She needed to impress her boss to feel needed and valued. Through the years, she was always known as the workaholic in our family and I don’t know if she really realized how badly it affected us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The message we received was that WE didn’t matter or hold much value to her. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her choice to avoid rejection from her boss only led to rejection from the family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So the irony of it all is that our negative behaviors to avoid rejection breed more rejection because we hurt others around us thus causing us more emotional pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It becomes a snow ball effect and just gets bigger and more damaging if we don’t get control of it.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Next week, I will continue this topic and give you some tools that will help change the negative behaviors that mask the pain of rejection and feelings of worthlessness, that you don’t matter, or that question your value. Be encouraged that change can occur.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you are living and breathing today, then you can gain control and make the positive changes you desire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Know that God loves you and receives you just as you are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are his kid and He will go out of His way to help you grow and live in peace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember, He believes that you were worth dying for.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I John 3:1 ~</span></i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God; and such we are.”</span></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: purple; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Go to <a href="http://silentcries-veronica.blogspot.com/2012/05/your-image-or-gods-image.html" target="_blank">God's Image or Yours?</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria", "serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I would appreciate some feedback in the comment box below.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me know what you are thinking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You don’t have to open an account to leave a comment and if you want your name to remain anonymous, just write anonymous or a fictitious name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"></span>Veronica Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00941686793958052704noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64370128382708171.post-36210754755092141902012-04-05T02:07:00.002-04:002012-04-05T11:05:12.260-04:00The Power In Your Words<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you realize how powerful words are?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God spoke this world into existence. Adolph Hitler and Martin Luther King Jr. changed the world with their words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Adolph used his words for evil and destruction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Martin Luther used his for peace and to bring about good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Both men had many followers because they called them to action with what?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With their words. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Today, I want to speak about negative self talk. It is very damaging to our self worth and affects how we respond to others and situations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me ask you this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If somebody called you an idiot, stupid, or said, "I wish you were never born, I hate you," how would you feel?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take a moment to really tap into your emotion here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would you get offended, cry, or angry enough to want to punch them out?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then why do you say it to yourself?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is as equally hurtful regardless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Quit saying, "Oh man, I am so stupid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am such an idiot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am so ugly. I wish I was never born.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am so fat, I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are training your brain to accept these images and therefore will not feel the need to do anything to correct it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your mind is so powerful, what you think will take control of your life. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First we think then the thought becomes an action.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For instance, we think, "Put on my shoes."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then we grab our shoes then put them on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A bulimic or anorexic can look in a mirror, be skin and bones, and still believe they are fat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the reality is that they are very thin and dying. Their perception is ruling their brain and they continue to be destructive because of their belief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a cousin who fought anorexia as a child and still struggles somewhat today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Back when I was just 12, I remember her only meal as being a Snickers candy bar and a bottle of coke.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When her health deteriorated, she ended up in the hospital.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I will never forget weeks later when she showed me her bones, looked in my mirror, and stated that she wanted to lose more weight because she was fat!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What was in the mirror was a dying girl who saw loose skin and no muscle tone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Understand that any</span> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kind of negative self talk will have the same affect on you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will begin to believe what you are saying just like the anorexic, you will have a distorted view of yourself and you will act on those beliefs. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many years ago at age 9,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I overheard a conversation my mother was having with a few family members <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>that was very hurtful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I entered the room, I heard, “When I found out I was pregnant with Vonnie, I cried.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Vonnie is my nickname.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My heart sunk to my stomach and I felt sick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I began to breathe fast and could feel physical pain in my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Back in the early 70’s many of us weren’t encouraged to talk about our feelings with our parents like the generations today so with much pain, I went to my room, curled up in a fetal position, and cried. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believed that I was not wanted or loved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was my thought, my perception which became my belief for many years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The truth of the matter is that my mother was a military wife living hundreds of miles from family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had twins that were not quite 3 months old when a window slammed down on her two wrists breaking them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the hospital, she discovered she was pregnant with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had reached this point of her story when I heard, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“When I found out I was pregnant with Vonnie, I cried.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So because of my belief and negative self talk of not being lovable, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I lived life destructively as I got older. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The consequences of my choices brought about a difficult life and more pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will share more of these stories in my future blogs.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>June Hunt, a wonderful author on negative emotions, encourages us to change our world with our words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can make changes today this very second because you are living today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And every day is an opportunity to move forward in a positive direction to embrace new thoughts and beliefs about yourself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some positive changes you can make are replacing the negative self talk with something that you want your brain to believe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Write down what you hear yourself saying then replace it with something positive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This will change your thinking and self image.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Critical step, you need to hear yourself saying it out loud. So instead of saying, “Do they make that in big boy sizes?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Say, “Do they make that in larger a size?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of, “I’m so fat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m disgusted with myself.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Say, “Today is a great day and I’m going to eat healthy and make good choices.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stop saying, “What in the world was I thinking?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m such a dummy.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Replace that with, “What in the world was I thinking?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh well, I’ll do better next time.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And if you tell yourself that you are not acceptable because of something you don’t like about your appearance, don’t say those negative things about it anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Quote this instead, “I am a beautiful person full of God’s forgiveness and love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love as He has loved me and I forgive as he has forgiven me. </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Other scriptures you can use for changing your thinking and self image are:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am accepted in the beloved. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ephesians 1:6</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ephesians 2:10</i> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am the apple of my Father’s eye.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Deut 30:10 <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Psalms 17; 10</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am the beloved of God<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gal 3:12rom 1:7<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I Thessalonians 1:4</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d like to close with something else I learned from June Hunt. I will paraphrase. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your true worth is not based on anything you have done or will do, but on what Jesus has already done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Heavenly Father established your worth over 2000 yrs ago when Jesus died on the cross.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That very moment, He established your worth forever. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> He believed that YOU were worth dying for!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember these words as you celebrate the Easter Holiday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>YOU are so loved by the maker of the universe, who spoke the world into being, that he believes that YOU were worth dying for.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So hold your head up high, stop beating yourself up with negative self talk and start seeing yourself the way He sees you by replacing the damaging words with words that encourage and build you up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” </span></i></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Next Week: Continue Self Worth and Negative Self Talk</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">John 15:13</span></i></b></div>Veronica Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00941686793958052704noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64370128382708171.post-49056112970999894132012-03-29T01:48:00.002-04:002012-05-04T19:47:41.491-04:00Practice Changes Things<span style="font-family: "Calibri", "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><br />
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Last week, we learned about automatic thoughts in the post titled <a href="http://silentcries-veronica.blogspot.com/2012/03/did-that-really-happen.html" target="_blank">Did That Really Happen?</a> They can be something we hear being said, a picture, a memory, physical touch, or sounds that are real or imagined.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Emotions are instantly attached to the thought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This week, I’d like to talk a little more in depth about this topic and practice replacing the incorrect thoughts with a true thought. Click on the purple title to go to the first post if you'd like to review before reading further. </div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Three negative emotions that we can experience after a thought is triggered are anxiety, anger, and depression.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Thought:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t feel safe and can’t deal with this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Emotion: Anxiety, fear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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2. Thought:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is not fair!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not being treated right and I’m not going to put up with it!</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Emotion:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anger, frustration</div>
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3.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m a loser.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nobody wants me or likes me, I’m worthless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My situation is hopeless and I don’t see how anything can change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hate my life! </div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Emotion:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Depression</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So let’s practice changing these thoughts. First, we’ll work with not feeling safe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because of being sexually violated when I was younger, I hate being blindsided today. I can feel really vulnerable just pumping gas at a gas station.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I feel anxious, the first thing my mind thinks is that something bad could happen and that there is somebody close by ready to harm me in some way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You may think of carjacking or your wallet being stolen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While it’s always wise to be aware of your surroundings, fear should not grip you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The word of God says in </div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">2 Timothy 1:7 <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“For God has not given us the <u>spirit of fear</u>; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Does this mean we should never have fear?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God gave us this emotion so that we could be safe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s healthy to know that if you walk off a cliff, you’re going to get hurt really bad or even die.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Timothy is saying that God did not give us the spirit of fear; living in fear, a fear that grips us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So if you walk around all day fearing that you’re going to die or won’t go out of your house because you fear something terrible will happen, you have a spirit of fear and God will deliver you so you can live in peace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now let’s pick back up with the gas station scenario.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you do feel anxious stop and look around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is anything suspicious?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If not, replace your thought from, “Something bad is about to happen,” to “I’m not in danger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will be fine.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then quote scripture that brings you peace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">In God I have put my trust, I will not be afraid. “Psalm 55:11<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You oh Lord are a shield about me.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Psalm 3:3.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Just writing these scriptures helps me to relax.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did you feel peace as you read them?</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s talk about anger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anger is an outward expression of other emotions like hurt, frustration, fear, or injustice when a need or expectation is not met.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For now, let’s focus on frustration.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We get frustrated when our efforts don’t meet our own expectations or our efforts don’t seem to matter to others. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a kid, have you ever washed the dishes, cleaned your room, or mowed the lawn to the best of your ability only to have your parent point out everything you did wrong?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How did it make you feel?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What thought was instantly triggered?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe something like, “I can’t do anything right or to please them,” or “They hate me.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps, “I’m not good enough.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What thought could you replace for this situation?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“They are trying to teach me so I can do better because they love me.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then you would be grateful and not angry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just for the sake of saying it, I believe it’s always best to praise the child for their efforts so they can feel your approval then choose a different day to discuss improvements.</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally our last scenario, depression.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As most of us know, depression comes from a sense of hopelessness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have no control over our situation and we see no way out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seven years ago, I was in a car accident that changed my life forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I developed a muscle disease and stayed in horrible pain 24/7 over my entire body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The doctors put me on eight different medications to help deal with the nerve and muscle pain and one was a new drug for cancer patients. After five years of believing God for healing, I had only gotten worse and was one step away from ordering a wheel chair but I never got angry at Him. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was, however, frustrated and wanted to get better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted my life back. All of the specialists except one had given up because they didn’t know how to fix me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was painful and difficult to shower, comb my hair, or to do anything that I loved to do like playing the piano and singing or holding my newborn grandson. Sometimes when I would speak or sing, my mouth would spasm and I would bite my lip or my tongue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Imagine being awakened by that pain! I had a difficult time communicating and felt like an Alzhiemer's patient because I would have to describe what I was trying to say. To simply ask for a glass of water was a challenge. </span>It would take me several hours to make a bed. I was lonely and had gotten to the point where I felt like a ghost.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was observing life, not living it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did I get depressed?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, definitely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believed that I was a huge burden to my husband.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt worthless and hopeless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How did I change those thoughts? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I began to say, “This is going to be a great day!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I looked at myself in the mirror and said, “Today is mine!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I am</span> loved.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instantly, I felt the dark cloud begin to lift and day by day and week after week, the depression was gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I mentioned, it’s been seven years now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God lined some wonderful people up in my life that knew how to take care of the nerve pain and how to strengthen my leg muscles that had atrophied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still have pain but I’m not in a wheel chair and I’m not on eight medications.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The last time I refilled some “as needed” medication was a couple of years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is in contrast to having them refilled every month!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> If I feel those old thoughts creeping in, I look in that mirror at myself and tell the truth. I renew my mind.</span></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In conclusion, replace your negative thought to experience a positive emotion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Practice every day with your situations and enjoy the peaceful change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Remeber that our thoughts are our own and we add meaning to them. Search your heart to see if you could be misinterpreting the situation. </span>If you notice a negative thought, ask yourself if it’s real or imagined.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it’s incorrect, write down the event, the thought that was triggered, and the emotion that was attached to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Next, write down a positive thought, a truth to replace it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And what’s more truthful than God’s Word?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> So </span>I encourage you that when you use this tool, follow it with scripture. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Say it out loud so you hear those words and watch the changes occur. </span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">1 Peter 5:7</i></div>
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Next week: Negative Self Talk or Rejection? Give me some feedback. Which would you like me to write?</div>
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Veronica Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00941686793958052704noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64370128382708171.post-26580948900813528622012-03-22T18:14:00.000-04:002012-03-22T18:28:30.499-04:00Did That Really Happen?<br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: ""sans-serif"", "serif";"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> How many times have you reacted a certain way and wondered, "Why did I do that?" Or, "Why do I always do THAT?!" Our unresolved issues, hurt, or pain still reflect in our reactions today even the ones we thought we took care of. They are sometimes hidden and we don't realize how they are affecting how we think or what we do today. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: ""sans-serif"", "serif";"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> Did you know that, without us trying, our brains interpret everything that's going on? Sights, sounds, smells, and feelings? It just happens. First, there is an event, a thought is triggered, we give it meaning, and then an emotion follows. And whether we are right or wrong, we automatically react or respond to it with emotion influenced by our past experiences or how we were brought up. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: ""sans-serif"", "serif";"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black;"> One day in our house, my husband, Michael, was throwing a tennis ball down the hallway to our little dog, Nikki. I told my husband to stop for a second because I was coming through. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was not visible where he was sitting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The next thing I knew, the ball missiles straight to my legs as if it had a mission to hit me. I was the target! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shocked and upset, I thought, "How could he do that to me?" <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My emotions instantly revisited a dark time in my life when my ex-husband first hit me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt so worthless and that I didn’t matter. He disgusted me with his excuses and how he tried to justify everything. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I finally got out within a few years. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When that ball hit me, I felt violated again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got angry and was crying and trying to deal with my emotions. I received a sincere apology and found out immediately that Michael didn’t hear me and had no idea that I was in the line of fire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He felt horrible about the whole thing and tried hard to calm me down with tender hugs.</span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: ""sans-serif"", "serif";"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now I knew for a fact that Michael would never raise a hand to me and that he had always been everything God designed a good husband to be toward me and that I had no reason to ever fear his hands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So what happened? Because of physical abuse in the past, my mind instantly interpreted the situation as abuse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember we have an event, we have a thought and give it meaning, then an emotion is attached to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In this case, <u>Event:</u> I was accidently hit by a ball. <u>The Meaning I gave the event:</u> I was being mistreated, abused. <u>Emotion</u>: hurt that he could do this, fear that I was in another abusive relationship, and anger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did I interpret it correctly?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: ""sans-serif"", "serif";"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> I was not happy about my reaction. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are so good at believing our thoughts, aren't we? It's automatic. There is an answer. By changing the thought, we change the emotion. I had to remind myself that my husband is not an abusive man and that he loves me, respects me, and would defend me always. If it should ever happen again or something similar, my thought would be that it was an "Oops!" Would my emotion be different if I did that? You betcha! </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just recently, a group of my friends and I got together at a restaurant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While we were in conversation, the waitress decided to clear some of the plates and asked those of us who were done if she could take them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She looked eye to eye with one of my friends, held her hand out, and gestured that she wanted to take the plate .<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She got no response then gestured again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Frustrated, s</span>he exhaled and rolled her eyes then reached over us to get the plate because she felt that she was being ignored.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But what she didn’t know was, our friend was blind!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This all happened in a matter of seconds so none of us had time to explain to the waitress why she was getting smiles from our blind friend but no response.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I slipped out and talked to the waitress to inform her of what happened so she could learn from her mistake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can only imagine how remorseful she felt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> She felt embarrassed and ashamed so </span>I received many apologies. She desired to approach our friend to make things right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Because our friend was unaware of what had happened, I felt it was best to spare her of any bad feelings. </span>I asked the waitress to be patient the next time she gets frustrated with anything in life and be aware that things are not always as they seem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In closing, our brains love to be on auto pilot interpreting the meaning of everything around us be it sight, sound, smells, and even our feelings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be aware of any emotional reactions that were triggered by a thought that was incorrect, a misunderstanding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We first have an event, then have a thought and put a meaning to it, then attach an emotion to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To change the emotion, change the thought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ask God to reveal unresolved issues in your heart so you can walk in peace.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Corbel", "sans-serif";">Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Romans 12:2 </span></i></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"></span>Veronica Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00941686793958052704noreply@blogger.com0Virginia, USA37.4315734 -78.656894234.1815449 -83.7106052 40.6816019 -73.603183199999989